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GáborParticipantJavier, do you stutter less talking to your family than to strangers, like in online meetings? Because I tend to be much more fluent with strangers, while I stutter badly with family members, especially with my parents. With strangers, sometimes I can play a role (like being a costumer) and I completely fluent, without any noticeable hesitations or grimaces.
GáborParticipantI think they accepted, that “stuttering is incurable” and they’re happy to be “themselves” and stutter freely, without any shame. Just like a person with a really incurable disability (like a missing arm) would do.
October 6, 2020 at 10:33 am in reply to: What do you guys think about accepting stuttering as a part of us? #27879GáborParticipantI accept that right now, I have this learned behaviour (which is a part of my life, but not a part of my real personality), which can be unlearned.
GáborParticipantThanks, I believe in the possibility of cure and refuse the dogma which says that “stuttering is incurable”. I also don’t want to be a “happy stutterer” and accept that I’ll stutter in my whole life.
October 6, 2020 at 10:29 am in reply to: Do you believe that stuttering has a physical cause? #27877GáborParticipantI believe it’s a subconscious muscle contraction made by the stutterer himself. If stuttering has physical causes, why can most stutterers sing or recite a poem flawlessly? Or, in my case, speak fluently when I’m angry?
GáborParticipantI will see myself as cured when I won’t have any speech fear (related to fear of stuttering and humiliation), no grimaces and/or detectable speech blocks (detectable for an average speaking partner, not a professional speech-language pathologist).
GáborParticipantYes, maybe that’s a language difference, and the equivalent of the word “crutch” in my native language has a more negative connotation.
BTW, I had a dream last night, in which I used crutches during my speech, successfully. I think that means that the idea of using crutches is in my subconscious mind, which is a great thing. 🙂
GáborParticipantThanks, I was actually thinking about a new subforum (like “Q&A with the Coaches” or “Speech Anxiety”) called “Crutches” and a separate topic for each one (personally, I don’t really like the word “Crutch”, because it has a negative meaning to me, I prefer “Training wheels” or “Helpers” and I usually use those words when I’m thinking about the Crutches :D).
Right now, I’m trying to implement the first crutch, which is quite easy for some words (beginning with consonants like “h” or “v”) and harder for others.
GáborParticipantoff: Could you please make a separate message board to discuss the 13 crutches in one place?
I tried the 1st crutch today and it works like a charm! When I first read about it, I raised my eyebrows a little bit because it was a bit “off” to me. But no one noticed when I skipped the first letter. It makes the whole sentence much more easier to say.
September 30, 2020 at 11:32 am in reply to: The fallacy of believing that we stutter worse on certain letters. #27833GáborParticipantI don’t think that’s true. If we’re singing or humming (I’ve heard about “Humdronian speech” from another coach), we can say any letters with ease.
GáborParticipantDo you think “I am an equal speaking partner in every speaking situation” can be a good affirmation?
GáborParticipantThanks for the invite, Javier, I’ve missed the speech club last week but I’ve listened the recording.
I agree, Tasneem, stuttering is still a mysterious thing for most non-stuttering people, so they can be insensitive and ignorant from time to time.
September 30, 2020 at 9:26 am in reply to: “Stutterer” or “Ex-stutterer”? That is the question. #27827GáborParticipantIt’s interesting because many people have noticeable blocks or hesitations in their speech and they still don’t considered to be stutterers. And they also don’t make a big deal out of it and don’t have a bigger fear of speech than an average speaker.
So, I think fear of speech and the identity and self-image of being a stutterer is also a great part of stuttering.
GáborParticipantThanks for the replies! I agree with you, especially about building self-discipline and growing as a person by overcoming an “impossible” obstacle. I don’t consider myself frustrated anymore, I think I’ve managed to move on from that negative headspace.
I discovered another useful thing about stuttering (or any other disabilities): the people who really matter in your life won’t look down on you and feel superior just because you stutter. It’s a great test whether the other person has a kind spirit and if not, maybe that person has no place in my life.
September 24, 2020 at 7:38 am in reply to: Reading aloud is not real conversation….sorry to say!! #27792GáborParticipant“If everything we read was our conversation with someone…..reading aloud WOULD work!!”
Lee also wrote in his book and told in his course, that, besides reading aloud alone, talk to yourself aloud (in front of a mirror, too), then talk to pet animals and/or small children whenever you can. Reading aloud helps you to hear fluency and learn the crutches & make them automatic.
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